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Unteachable Children or Bad Parenting?

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Is the apple of your eye driving you crazy? Sometimes, your child’s bad behavior is hard to deal with and confounding. And when moms and dads get fed up and frustrated, they can easily resort to negative and detrimental parenting tactics.

It’s important to find out why your child is misbehaving. Is it because of a health problem or condition? Or, is your parenting to blame?

Learn the truth about your rugrat’s misdemeanors and what you can do to restore peace and balance in your household.

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Bad Behavior Due to Health Problems

  1. Dyslexia

This neurological disorder can make it hard for children to read and write at the same level as their peers. Dyslexia makes it difficult for these children to rhyme, spell and recognize words.

If your child exhibits these phonetic struggles, you might think they’re refusing to do their schoolwork and just goofing off. You might think punishing them is a good approach.

Unfortunately, what they need is the proper support to help them navigate these and other struggles of dyslexia.

  1. Hearing Loss

When your child doesn’t respond or come when he’s called, it can look like disobedience and disrespect. But if hearing loss is the root of these behaviors, the last thing your child is doing is purposefully causing problems.

An assessment with a health care professional can rule out any hearing, eyesight or speech impediments. And once you know what the real problem is, therapy and other medical approaches can help your child cope with his disability.

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  1. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

Although many children are often misdiagnosed with ADHD, this disorder is real and can be the reason why some children have a very hard time paying attention and dealing with their emotions.

It’s worth it to observe your child’s behavior carefully and to have them examined by a trusted medical professional. If ADHD is the reason for your child’s difficult behavior, there are countless resources for parents.

If your child does have ADHD, you can begin by eliminating food additives from their diet. The American Academy of Paediatricians reports that there is a direct link between ADHD and food additives.

In fact, they can worsen your child’s hyperactivity.

So, even a simple step like this can make significant improvements in your child’s behavior.

Bad Behavior Due to Bad Parenting

Moms and dads have the best intentions when it comes to their children, and it’s safe to say that most parents are doing their best. No parent wants to admit that their parenting skills have led to their child’s behavioral issues.

Sometimes, we make parenting mistakes without even realizing it. And this can have big implications for our children.

The Department for Education in the United Kingdom reported that bad parenting will make children two times as likely to misbehave.

So, here are some common ways parents goof up, and ways you can improve your approach today.

Why Do Children Misbehave?

Thomas Gordon, the founder of Gordon Training International, helps people improve their communication skills, whether they’re parents or teachers. He advocates that we rethink the term, “misbehaving”. It’s a term we only use with children, and it immediately casts a negative outlook on a child’s actions.

Instead, we can look at every single action as an attempt to meet a specific need.

If your child’s difficult behavior isn’t due to a health condition or medical diagnosis, they’re acting for a specific reason.

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Common explanations include:

  1. Your child wants something, and it’s usually your attention.
  2. Your child wants to be in control or be independent. This is especially true if they’re experiencing a lot of stress due to major transitions, like moving, or a divorce.
  3. Your child has a hard time coping with his emotions, especially if he’s bullied at school.
  4. Your child is imitating others, even characters from the television.

If any of these reasons are a plausible explanation for your little one’s outbursts, try to address them.

Perhaps you need to pay more attention, or maybe you need to help your child cope with their emotions by being present and empathetic. Maybe it means surrounding your child with better TV programs and peers.

Antisocial Behavior

Antisocial behavior can lead the way to serious issues like drug and alcohol abuse, crime and mental health disorders.

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Parenting that is severe and inconsistent, or any experiences of domestic violence can lead your child to develop antisocial behaviors.

Poor Coping Skills

If your child is going through a difficult time, it’s important to be there for them and have an empathetic attitude towards their struggles.

Otherwise, they can have a hard time dealing with social situations, negative outcomes and emotional upsets.

Are You Too Rough?

If your parenting is too aggressive and rough, especially when you’re angry and upset, your child can pick up on these behaviors and use them, too.

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Aggressive parenting shows children that it’s an appropriate way to handle anger, and he will carry these mentalities into adulthood.

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Consequences of Permissive Parenting

Every child, no matter how sweet and docile she is, will misbehave. It’s an inevitable part of childhood. For some parents, it’s stressful to discipline and keep these inappropriate behaviors in check.

So, what do many parents do?

Unfortunately, they do nothing, or too little. As a result, children learn that there’s no negative outcome for their behaviors and they continue to engage in them.

This is called permissive parenting, and while it may make things “easier” for the parents in the short run, it’s a recipe for long-term dysfunction.

It takes a lot of wherewithal for parents to stand their ground when children throw tantrums, act defiantly, whines, complains and acts rudely to both peer and authority figures. These behaviors don’t stay within the confines of your home. Your child brings them everywhere he goes, and it’s disruptive for you and everyone else.

While it’s not easy to tame the shrew, it’s definitely possible. There are ways to be firm, consistent and kind without resorting to negative and abusive parenting techniques.

Once parents can identify their child’s needs, they can help them fulfill these needs in peace and respect. This is how you can help your child develop better behavior skills.

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