Home Sex & Relationships Bedroom Sex on the First Date: Should You Feel Ashamed?

Sex on the First Date: Should You Feel Ashamed?

Zerxza.com may earn commission when you buy something through the links or banners on this page but we only feature brands or products we trust.

Readers' Picks

How to Get Your Partner in a Mood for Sex

There’s this misconception that guys are the ones who always want to have sex. And that women need all the coaxing and persuasion. But that’s...

How to Dry Hump the Right Way

Has it been a while since you tried to dry hump? It was probably your first introduction to sexual activity when you were still...

How Much Sex is Too Much Sex?

Some couples don’t have enough sex. In fact, close to 40 percent of American adults identify as having sex-less marriages. But then, on the...

First-Timers Guide: Spicing Things up with Anal Sex

Although anal sex is definitely not as taboo as it used to be, women can still feel unsure and even scared about giving it...

Forget Fifty Shades of Grey: Here's What Men Really Want in Bed

What men want in bed shouldn’t be a mystery, but it gets misconstrued all the time. We tend to think men want super erotic,...

Rough Sex: Are You a Freak If You'd like to Try It?

Sexual fantasies are normal, but your own kinky dreams might freak you out a little bit. And if you want to give rough sex...

Should you feel bad when your date ends in the bedroom? It all depends on who you ask. And the most important person to ask is you!

What are your ideas about sex, along with your beliefs, intentions, values, and morals?

There has been a big stigma surrounding sex on the first date, but apart from public shaming, do you need to feel bad about it?

We’re going to look at some of the factors surrounding sex on a first date. It will help you figure out where you stand on this topic.

Sex is Intimate. Or Is It?

For some women, sex isn’t just sex. It’s an expression of trust and intimacy. It can be a manifestation of love, respect, and adoration.

And if that’s how you look at sex, you might be putting a lot of pressure on yourself on that first date which might be pretty nerve-wracking anyways. That’s because it might be difficult to develop trust, respect, and love so quickly.

Of course, sex can still happen, but it might not have the psychological and emotional backing that can be so important.

And if you don’t develop friendship and intimacy first, having first-date sex can be awkward, which isn’t fun and probably not a manifestation that you would prefer.

On the other hand, to some, simply wanting sex is a good enough reason to have it. And they just prefer to have sex for the sake of sex.

Sex without love, complications, expectations, commitments, and rules. And having sex on the first date can be a good opportunity to fulfill sexual needs without the depth of a relationship.

The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating
Audible Audiobook; Andy Stanley (Author) - Stu Gray (Narrator); English (Publication Language)
−$2.56 $17.96
Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
Audible Audiobook; Henry Cloud (Author) - Jonathan Petersen (Narrator); English (Publication Language)
−$3.42 $23.95

Is First-Date Sex Promiscuous?

It depends on age, according to Fredric Neuman, M.D. He argues that if you’re a teenager or a person in your 20’s, it can look promiscuous. The older you get, sex becomes more acceptable and casual.

Some consider early sex promiscuous because it carries the implication that you would easily have sex with anyone without really knowing them. It could look like you don’t value your sexuality.

It can also be a bad choice if you do it against your will or better judgment. You don’t need to validate your relationship with sex.  And you definitely don’t need to look at sex as a currency, with which you purchase a relationship, respect or a call-back.

Some people prefer to wait, build the relationship, and develop confidence, mutual respect and understanding before they engage in sex.

But there are some who believe that women and men should enjoy the same sexual freedoms and that women and men should be able to experience sexual activity without any feeling of guilt, especially if they don’t plan for a certain outcome, like a second date, a follow-up call, or a relationship.

Women are warned to not have sex on the first date because it would lower their value in a man’s estimation. But some women fire back by saying that they should have the liberty to sleep with someone and choose whether they want to be with him, too.

Personal Convictions

Each of us lives according to a set of values and standards. Some of these are influenced by religions and belief systems. If you’re not comfortable with first-date sex, then the best thing to do is nothing.

Societal and peer pressures can be very strong, but in the end, you are in control of your decisions and your body. If you do go against what feels right, you can feel ashamed, and also experience a loss of self-esteem and self-worth. And none of these are very attractive or desirable.

So, take some time to get to know yourself and what you value and why. This can help you decide whether early sex is okay with you, or whether you’ll regret it and beat yourself up about it.


First-date Sex Prevents Future Disappointment

Some people believe that if there’s an attraction and you’re into each other, having sex will only help your relationship, not curb it. What’s more, having sex straight away helps you figure out whether you’re sexually compatible.

And while this can establish whether sexual chemistry is strong, it’s not a reliable test.

Why’s that? Because sex is an activity you do with someone else, and like anything else, it takes practice and commitment to perfect it.

Sex might be amazing the first time, but if it’s not, that doesn’t mean there’s no room for improvement. And if you’re into the person, that’s something you’d be willing to work on over time.

There is a disadvantage to using sex as a measuring stick. If you always use sex on the first date to see if you want to stay with someone, you might need to do this often, if your dates don’t work out.

The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating
Audible Audiobook; Andy Stanley (Author) - Stu Gray (Narrator); English (Publication Language)
−$2.56 $17.96
Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
Audible Audiobook; Henry Cloud (Author) - Jonathan Petersen (Narrator); English (Publication Language)
−$3.42 $23.95

Love or Sex: What Comes First

Some people think that you need to establish sexual chemistry before you can really fall in love. There can be some truth to that. But others would counter that by saying that if you love someone, the sexual chemistry will inevitably follow.

Sexual attraction can be immediate and undeniable, and in a world of instant gratification, people believe that if they have a sexual attraction they should be able to act on it. If that sits right with your conscious, then hop to it.

However, for others, sexual attraction doesn’t happen like a flash of light. Sometimes, it takes time to grow. And if you believe that if you don’t have a crazy sexual attraction right away, there’s nothing there, you might be writing off a potentially good relationship.

As you can see, having sex on the first date is a highly personal decision. It all boils down to your beliefs and ideas about yourself, sex, relationships, and the other person.

What’s most important is to know why you want to have sex and your expectations surrounding it. While society, family, friends and belief systems will always have their opinion, it’s important to stay true to your own convictions and heart.

Latest at Zerxza

9 Extremely Clever Ways to Save More Money

Have you ever tried to save more money but end up completely broke anyway? Even if you think you’ve done so so well. Maybe...

The Psychology of Money: Why Sometimes It Feels Great to Spend Money (and Sometimes It Makes You Feel Guilty)?

Whether it’s Cyber Monday, Black Friday, or some other shopping madness, consumer society is hunting the western world and showing its ugliest side. A frighteningly...

8 Powerful Winter Skincare Products for a Revitalized Skin

Wintertime is a real hazard on your skin. Cold wind and harsh temperatures do a number on you, starting from redness and ending with...

Are Your Friends Stopping You From Making Better Financial Decisions?

You should definitely buy that handbag, it’s meant for you… Hey, come out with us tonight! Please pay for the dinner this time, I promise it...

Is Being a Hopeless Romantic a Bad Thing?

Hopeless romantics are, well, a bit hopeless - just as their name implies. They’re eternal optimists who can’t stop and won’t stop giving up...

Relationship Goals: Will These Ruin Your Relationship?

Goals help us grow. They push us forward and help us create amazing experiences for ourselves. There are goals for career, lifestyle, health, the...

13 DIY Christmas Decorations Out of Old Clothes

Christmas is a jam-packed time of year - in every sense of the world. We have to keep up with our jobs while we...

Related Articles

error: Content is protected !!